Humility, in our common usage, typically refers to the trait of modesty and a lack of ego (or at least a well-checked ego). In this sense, a person who exhibits humility is comfortable not taking center stage and shares the credit for achievements with others.
In a Jewish understanding of this trait, however, humility actually exists on a spectrum. On one side there is certainly the notion that humility requires one to take a step back from the spotlight. However, our Sages caution that we should not shrink so much that we actually disappear. The “wallflower” at the party, the student who never raises her hand, the employee who consistently allows other to walk over him -- these are not the ideals for Judaism. Instead, we are encouraged to proudly and strongly take our place in our home and community.
On the other side of the spectrum, we are cautioned not to take too much space. Overpowering the room when we enter, speaking over other people and dominating the conversation, encroaching upon the space of others – these too are not ideals for Judaism.
Living an intentional Jewish life requires that we find the balance between these two extremes, and the balance we call “anavah” – humility. During the month of October we are practicing anavah / humility. One easy practice to take on is to recite throughout the day: “No more than my place, no less than my space.” This phrase can serve as a powerful reminder that every interaction has the potential for hurting or healing, breaking down or building, wobbling or finding balance.
L' Shalom,
Rabbi Ted Riter - Senior Rabbi
